Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, Johann Wenzel Peter c. 1820, Pinacoteca Vaticana, Vatican City State. 

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The LORD God said: “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him.”  Genesis 2:18.

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This is one of those Sundays which presents a real challenge to an unmarried person, such as me. Far be it for me to expound on the perfect married life! So I will talk of something which should be a part of any profound and dedicated marriage, which is friendship. This I do understand and try to live. True friendship demands, I would suggest, almost the same challenges which the married life demands. If you look online for a moment concerning that topic, headlines such as Friendships: Enrich Your Life and Improve Your Health (The Mayo Clinic),  and The Science of Why Friendships Keep Us Healthy (American Psychological Association), and Benefits of Friendship (Care Counseling) tend to leap from the page. So clearly those who know about physical and mental health agree that friendship is life-affirming and, in some way, essential to one’s well-being. It seems even God thought so, looking at the quotation from Genesis above! The reverse of the statement would be It is bad for the man to be alone. I even remember reading years ago about a life insurance company which asked potential clients if they had good friendships, especially a friendship where nothing was concealed, and premiums apparently went down if they did! Look at this, for example. And, of course, don’t forget the people Jesus gathered around him, though one wonders about Judas… Clearly Jesus was totally human in his ability to make a mistake concerning that man. And remember we, and Judas, all have the freedom to behave in any way we wish; that is part of the glory and challenge of being human! Jesus clearly did not control any of the people around him; he hoped and prayed for them, but their fates were clearly in their own hands. 

But true friendship has both benefits and costs. The costs, of course, are when things go wrong, and the statement A friend in need is a friend indeed comes into play. Life is not always pleasant. Each of us encounters challenges at times, and that is when true friendship manifests itself. I recall the time when I was in hospital three years ago recovering from triple by-pass open heart surgery. My doctor walked into the room when I happened to have three friends visiting. He looked around and said “This is the best therapy you can get”. It is never fun visiting a hospital. It involves inconvenience, special journeys, time, commitment and a host of other unwelcome requirements. But the benefits to the patient which come from such costs can be immeasurable. I was, and remain, deeply grateful for such true friendship and I trust and pray you feel the same way. And it is at such times that true friendship manifests itself. It is not to say that other friends are lacking. Remember how many of Jesus’ friends were present at his death… They made up for it later. The bitterness of Peter’s betrayal of the Lord in the high priest’s garden when Jesus was being insulted and  unjustly accused, when Peter did nothing to support him – and even denied knowing him! –  then his remorse, which must have been immeasurable. That is the shadow side of friendship, the consequences of betrayal. Remorse at such times is, I believe, a foretaste of hell.

So, true friendship is the solid ground on which, I hope, we all stand. It is life giving, life enhancing and life fulfilling. It should be at the heart of all marriages, partners who can trust each other totally, no matter what. And supremely, it is at the heart of our relationship with the Lord, the ultimate friend, the giver of life and love. Christ’s three questions to Peter later, “Do you love me?” will be demanded of us also. Let there be unbounded joy at that moment, when we enter upon unending love and life eternally.

“Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Mosaic in the Church of St Peter Gallicantu, Jerusalem, Israel (2018).

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